Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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