somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
