he shaved USA in his pubs
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
