The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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