Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wish you could order shots online.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
