I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
