I am in a vortex of obligation.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
