drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
