brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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