There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
