I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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