I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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