So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
