shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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