stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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