capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
