your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
