Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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