Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
