Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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