Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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