I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
