If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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