dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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