I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
