Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
