I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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