He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
