Only a mothe r could love this liver
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
