So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
