so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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