this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize