theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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