Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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