i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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