Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
