im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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