I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
