She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
