so explain again why im purple
no
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
