i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
