Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just blew my weed a kiss
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
