Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
