Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
