Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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