If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
