Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I want to walk on stilts...naked
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
