last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
