STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
