I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
