Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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