What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
