what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
