Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
